Conscious

Life from the Center is a life of unhurried peace and power. It is simple. It is serene. It is amazing. It is triumphant. It is radiant. It takes no time, but it occupies all our time. And makes our life programs new and overcoming.

- Thomas Kelly

I'm not really on vacation, but life has felt much more like a vacation recently. We'll see how long it keeps up. It's not all a lack of work, because (for instance) I worked about 12 hours yesterday. But life just isn't so stressful or rushed like it was. I do what I need to, but I can "stop and smell the roses" along the way.

I'm reading a really great book right now called "Freedom of Simplicity" by Richard Foster. I am being challenged in the way I live, think, and understand simplicity. One of the parts of the book I read recently spoke of Frank Laubach's "Game with Minutes." In this "game" Frank would see how many minutes out of an hour he could be conscious of God's presence. Every day in his journal he'd put "Conscious 25%" or "Conscious 70%" etc. He would figure out what percentage of his day he was actually actively being conscious of God. It's an amazing and convicting challenge, one that even the mention of would send many of us downcast, due to the fact that we realize how seemingly unavoidably distracted we are to God throughout the majority of our day, and therefore life. I know for me, it's a blessing if I randomly remember to thank God for being good, while I drive mindlessly to my next appointment from time to time.

I want to challenge myself to this task. I want to take such a task seriously if I should attempt it. Coming into mental preparation, I realize to be conscious would mean to severely lessen or eliminate the mind-dulling substances of our modern age. It means an effort to turn the TV from sketch comedy, sitcoms, and pointless fictional dramas. Or better yet, to turn the TV off. It means putting a bridle on my mind, and training it to focus. It means dominating my laziness and turning it into purposed action, that feeds simplicity.

Is it pathetic that all of these seem like too much and make me want to scratch the idea?

Now I'm not saying I can never watch TV, even pointless TV. I'm not saying I can't zone out and think of nothing (since that's definitely a good thing from time to time). But what I am saying is this, we are more overboard than we realize in our distractions. Our minds are shutting down to the extent that we (me included) are oblivious to it. Just ask those who have trained their minds, they'll give you evidences of how far we've drifted into LaLa Land.

If God occupies all of heaven and earth, shouldn't he occupy my thoughts as well? Would I not benefit from a closer relationship with the Guy who has it all under His control? Would I not be a more effective minister to the Gospel if I allowed His Word to permeate all my actions, in a living and conscious manner?

As it is, there is division. There is time for what God wants, and time for what Steve wants. I know this is wrong, but I am very content with it... until I wake myself up. Until I reminisce the sweet taste of eternity, I am content in my blissful ignorance. Try the challenge. See how conscious of God you can be throughout the day. Be diligent in your attempts and see how things improve.

When You Take The Time

I was walking down Carson Street in the South Side looking for the place I was supposed to meet my friend. Her initial directions were close, but not spot on. I walk with a confused look on my face, scanning and rescanning the names displayed on each establishment. I ask some people if they know where it is, and they point me down the street further. As I walk, I'm trying not to be in too much of a rush. A man sitting on the curb asks if I would give money to a veteran. Usually I am pretty open to such a request for charity; but I hesitated. I didn't know if I was going to. He looked to be in good, healthy condition, and he wasn't too old either. Why does he need my money? The call to "give to anyone who asks of you" stirred my heart and I pulled a $5 bill out of my wallet.

His name was Raymond. I asked where the man had served. He had been on active duty for several years, and spent a good amount of time in Germany. As I asked this I found a seat next to him on the curb. He told me about the problems with the military, where once you come back there is no longer a job for you. This is an circumstance he found himself in years back. He went on to tell me some things that he stands for, like living together with people, not differentiating between skin color, and being an example of how African Americans and all people should act. He likes peace, which is why he spends time just sitting in South Side, avoiding the business of downtown, where he lives.

As our conversation continued he told me his "girl" recently passed away. When he continued to speak of her, and his eyes became glassy and watery, it was apparent how much she meant to him. He told me of all the things they planned to do, but never did, like visit the zoo and aviary. He also reminisced of the times they would walk together in the park, and she would teach him how to use the buses in this city, being that he's a Southern boy.

One of the top priorities on his mind was to do something as a memorial to her. He wanted to give back to a city and an area he had appreciation for. Creatively and innocently enough, he told me he wanted to get a few thousand dollars so he could rent an ice cream stand for two days and give free ice cream to children in the South Side. He perked up at the thought of that. It was encouraging to see this middle aged, African American, who detested stealing, lying, and substance abuse. His father died from alcoholism, and his mother currently was an alcoholic and addicted to cigarettes. He encouraged me not to drink, as he doesn't.

Raymond would readily admit that he was having a hard time since the passing of his girlfriend, and had also had some bad luck; having gone to prison for a month by a case of mistaken identity (according to him), and for some reason I actually believe him. He grew one little clump of hair on his otherwise shaved head. This was to distinguish himself, so he would not be mistaken for any other criminals. Even through all these things he spoke of God being there. He knew that there was hope in God. The man had a good story and a hope for the future.

I felt a tugging on my heart to pray for him. I have trouble with this, and usually don't go through with it, whether stranger or friend. But this time I did. On a public street, sitting on a little brick step, I put my hand on his shoulder and prayed for him. I gave him my card so that I could continue to help him in whatever he needed, and to allow us to continue our new friendship.

And I wasn't the first. Others had come to know this man and help him. This coming weekend, someone he made friends with was driving to Richmond, and taking Raymond with him, so Ray could visit his family in Richmond. I could tell he was excited and felt blessed to have such an opportunity, in a city where he is very much on his own now. It all comes together with everyone doing a little or big part for those going through a rough spot or a rough life.

I'm glad I sat. I'm glad I started conversation and progressed it beyond the initial shallow niceties. This isn't about me doing something nice. This is about all of us realizing that there are people in need all around us, and we need to learn to sacrifice our schedules and our wants a little bit in order to make a new friend and show God's love. I have no regrets about what happened tonight.

Forward This On

I think we've all gotten chain mail things in our e-mail boxes. Most of the time people send them to be annoying I think. "Send this to 20 people in the next 20 minutes and you'll meet your true love tomorrow." Or, "If you don't forward this on to 5 people you will have bad luck all of tomorrow, and an ax murderer will kill you too." Those irritate for sure... but then there's the other side. The one that transcends annoying by reaching a spot in your heart of compassion, and maybe even pride. I'll try to copy one such e-mail I got today verbatim.

I'm not breaking this one. If I get it a 1000 times, I'll forward it a 1000 times!

Let us pray...

Prayer chain for our Military....don't break it!

Please send this on after a short prayer for our soldiers. Don't break it!

Prayer:

'Lord, hold our troops in your loving hands. Protect them as they protect us. Bless them and their families for the selfless acts they perform for us in our time of need. Amen.'
Prayer Request: When you receive this, please stop for a moment and say a prayer for our troops around the world. There is nothing attached. Just send this to people in your address book. Do not let it stop with you. Of all the gifts you could give a Marine, Soldier, Sailor, Airman and others deployed in harm's way, prayer is the very best one.


GOD BLESS YOU FOR PASSING IT ON!
AMEN

How do you feel now? Patriotic? Angry at our enemies for the boy who no longer has a father? Do you feel inspired to fight? To be a good American? Do you wish to give your life for your country?

It is very important to honor everyone, including those in war. Whether you believe in war or not, that's a tough time right there, and they deserve good thoughts/words/prayers to get them through a hard time. In that same breath, can't we honor them by bringing them home, by stopping war?

Not once in that whole e-mail does it mention peace. Shouldn't peace be the real hope?

When I see an e-mail like this I see a representation of the American Way attempting to wash its hands of the travesty of war, by placing the outcome of its decisions on the shoulders of God. As if to say, whatever we do, we will pray for blessing in it. In a round about way, it's allowing blame to fall on God if things don't turn out right. I know people who have turned away from God because their son died in war. "What kind of God would allow this to happen?" they might ask. "What kind of people would follow a way counter to God's way, which allows horrible things like this to happen?" I might ask. Both sides have devastating losses in war. Who is really winning? Would you kill a baby to save X number of people? If not, why would you support a war that does?


Maybe you think I'm cold-hearted and un-American. I don't want pursue being un-American, but I do want to pursue being pro-God. If there is conflict between the two, I will side with God. And as far as being cold-hearted... my heart breaks when I get e-mails like this. The truth is, I don't want this to happen anymore. I can no longer believe that war will end war, I can only believe that truth and love will end war. I'm certainly not so naive as to believe fighting war with truth and love won't have casualties, or even many or more casualties, but I do believe it is working in the right direction. There is no doubt in sacrifice for progress, but why should there be sacrifice to stay in the same old rut?

Let's move forward as a people. Let's give up some of our prayer time for some time in reading the Bible. Otherwise, how will we know what to pray for?

Forward this blog link on to 20 people in the next 5 minutes or I could care less.

After A Weekend Of Praying... What's The Point?

For a few years how I'm been thinking critically about prayer. All my life I've been taught that praying is good... in fact it's in the top three of what a Christian should do: Read your Bible, pray, and go to church. It's funny how those were always the answers of how we can get closer to God, growing up in a children's ministry (not that they're bad things at all, just ever present as "the answers").

What do we expect from prayer? Do we expect God to answer our prayers? If I pray that God would restore my relationship with somebody, but that never happens, or maybe it's an issue where that person is sick, and passes away before there is restoration, what does that say about prayer and about God?

We would answer that God must not have desired that. It must not have been in his will.

Or what about a child dying of cancer, as is becoming more and more regular. You pray for healing, but it never happens. What was the point of praying if it doesn't change an outcome? If God answers the prayer it was God's will and God's will came about because you prayed. If God doesn't answer your prayer (meaning to have things happen as your prayer requests) then God had his will happen anyway, and apparently you can't change it anyway because it's his will.

These are questions that have been floating around in my head for a while. I'm glad they are being expressed elsewhere, in what would seem to be a very open discussion, in the next Nooma video, featuring my main man, Rob Bell.




I've asked the question for a while; is it right to pray for something to occur or not occur? If we don't know what God will do, is it correct for us to petition God to sway his doing to what we think he ought to do? Isn't that prideful? Isn't that making God some sort of voodoo doll, where we use him to make things happen to people/place/situations/etc. Should we only pray that God's will be done. After all, isn't that how Jesus prayed?

He certainly asks for God's will to be done. But he also makes requests. Give us our daily bread, forgive us our debts, and deliver us from temptation/evil.

Here is my take on it. There is universal truths of justice that God strongly adheres to. They are promises from him. Just as he promises that if we give our first fruits, we will be taken care of and his blessing will be upon us. Some of these promises we find to be economically, socially, psychologically correct, and thus scientifically justifying them... but others are harder to show through science, or we just haven't dared to prove them yet. I believe it is these truths/promises that Jesus prays in petition to God for. God has already called these things His will, so to pray for them is to pray for God's will.

You can even look at Abraham talking to God about Sodom. Where God intends to destroy Sodom, Abraham pleads mercy in account of those who are following God. Abraham seems to make a deal with God to spare the city if ten who are righteous are found there. And God agrees. Did Abraham just change God's mind? Was God's will challenged and changed? Is Abraham more just than God himself?

NO!

Abraham "reminded" God of who He was. Abraham pleas on behalf of justice found in the promises of God. God did not forget these. Abraham, however, just exercised them. By exercising them, Abraham is now more in tune with God's will. He understands the heart of God better. God doesn't just want to do for us, but he wants to develop us. Just like a parent is a bad parent if they do everything for their kids. They can't be feeding them with the airplane spoon at the age of 15. That's being a horrible parent. God instead wants us to feel like we're driving. He'll put us on his lap in the car while he drives, so we feel like we're "big," so we get a feel for what is coming for us, so we can know that God believes we can bring justice. When we start feeling what God feels, we will begin to understand what is truth and act as God acts.

I think it's very similar when we pray. Prayer gives us an open forum to plea justice. It also gives us a forum to hear God's response to our plea. We tell God what we feel may be right, but then we ask God, "What really is right?" Prayer isn't how you get people to not die from cancer. If you think it is, you will be as hurt as my family who believed that very thing, with a startling conclusion, when my grandmother passed away. Prayer is how we get closer to God and understanding his ways. It is where we communicate with God to find out what is right, what is wrong, what is just, what is our own misconception.

Prayer certainly does grow us. It's like the class you are excited to go to at school, when knowing an answer makes you proud, because this class is just that cool! Prayer is also where we can tell God what we've learned about him, and allow him to expand even further about what we've learned.

I feel like I could keep babbling about this forever. I do think prayer brings about change. Maybe sometimes God holds back his will slightly, in hopes to we will step up and remind him about it. I do know that prayer brings about change in the person praying, even if there is no effect that can be seen in what is being prayed for.

I'll be interested to watch this Nooma when it comes out later this month. I'd like to see if Rob's take is close to mine.

Am I right about prayer? I don't know. But you may be... or maybe we both are. Give your thoughts in comment form!

That'll Cost You 15 Intimacy Points

I just got back from a great weekend at Youth For Christ Metro-Pitt's Student Leader Retreat.

It's different than a lot of the other trips, because this one is not an outreach. These are the kids that have decided they really want a close relationship with God and desire to share the gospel with others. When you start with that desire the doors are open. Small group meetings, where you usually need to pull teeth to get responses that are even slightly deep, had a dynamic of trust. Kids shared some things that were very dear, very revealing, very hopeful, very painful, and all very honest with the others, themselves, and God.

The theme of the weekend was prayer. Certainly a hard topic to tackle in a way that isn't the cliche, "You should pray before every meal and in the morning and at night, and all the time, yea!" But to actually put purpose into it and form an intense desire of high schoolers to pray is just... daunting.

The best teaching on prayer was when we prayed. We started out the whole weekend praying for probably 30-60 minutes. The kids loved it! The weekend has shown me a lot about myself and my priorities. I would say that it's a need to pray more, but that's only the beginning.

I love worshiping together in joy. I still picture all 50 of us huddled up in a group, with the instrumentalists in the center playing "One Name Under Heaven." The excitement at the chorus, "God's gonna move this place, God's gonna move this place, God's gonna turn this world, Gonna turn it upside down" is what makes me feel alive. Times when worship is solemn, communal, intimate, and at the same time joyful, excited, sincere, and passionate I feel like we are at that moment in line with God. That experience is truly heaven.


I try to always include something to think about in these blogs. So here is something that I slightly played with in my head, but need to dedicate thought to...

The speaker said that some people seem to think the "currency" (an obvious metaphor) of God is faith. If we have so much faith we can get or be this or that. He said that the true currency is intimacy. The closer I am to God the more I can have in God. James', the speaker, illustration as that of him asking for money. His father is someone who doesn't give up money very easily in large amounts. He is a generous man who will give someone a few bucks if they ask it of him, but were to ask for $100 he'd probably have a problem with that. If James asked his father though, he would certainly give him the money because there is much more intimacy between them than his father and a stranger. Likewise, if James' mother asked for her husband to donate $500 to an orphanage in Africa that she believes in the cause of, he would certainly do it, because their relationship is even more intimate.

I think that thought is a good one. It certainly shows something big about how humanity works. Is that how God works? I hate that I just said "how God works," it sound demeaning, as if we could understand how God works. But does God follow the same reasoning or laws that we follow as humans in this regard?

Part of me is unsure, the other part feels like God is too far above that in benevolence. Like God would give intimacy at any level at any second if we desired. That may be the issue, our desire for it. What would the money of intimacy buy anyway? Ability to heal people, healing ourselves, spiritual feeling, prophesy, doing well with our skills, knowing right from wrong? Maybe all of those, maybe some, maybe none... but I'm thinking all or some.

What do you think? How does the notion resonate in your thought?

I'm very interested in some intelligent thought, which I have none to offer.

Bless Our Food

I wonder how many people say grace before they eat. When I think about "saying grace" I turn into an 11 year old again and feel like getting everyone to bow their head and just yell out "GRACE" and start chowing down like in Hook.

Then I think of Ben Stiller praying lyrics from Jesus Christ Superstar at the dinner table in Meet the Parents. I guess it's sad that these are the first things that come to mind when I think of saying grace. I'm such a child of the media.

But seriously, praying before our meal, saying grace, blessing the food... what's it all about?

I would say there are two things that are common to nearly every saying of "grace." The first is the thanking of God for provision, and the second is asking God to bless the food.

I certainly have no issue whatsoever with thanking God for provision. I think that is key to life, and that at a meal is the perfect time to remind yourself of God's provision. But asking God to bless the food is something that is curious to me. Take a moment and think about what it means for God to bless your food.

Does asking God's blessing on it make it more healthy for you? Does it kill germs, viruses, etc. on the food? Does it help digestion? Is it a new miracle weight loss scheme (Prayed Before Weighed)? Does it somehow make you more holy for eating prayed over food? Is this a ceremonial cleansing of the food like in the Old Testament? Bless this food...

Does calling down a blessing make something blessed? For something to be blessed is for God to be interwoven with it. The word blessed in hebrew (barak) means to get down and kneel. For God to bless us, Creation, the things we partake of, the good; is for God to come down to be with what is going on and show his favor. Blessing doesn't happen because we ask of it. Things that are worthy of God coming down to join are inherently blessed. Just like when Jesus gives an anthem of what blessing can look like in the beatitudes. These are things that God says are worthy of His attention, they are things he wants to be connected with, they are blessed.

The blessing of a meal can mean a lot of things, but it also begs a lot of questions.

I think you can break the blessing into three categories: God, others, creation. And all of these should be lumped under the heading of respect.

God: As I said, praying a prayer of thanks is one of the most common and universal aspects of the mealtime prayer. We are able to lay ourselves before our maker and give thanks; however, thanks cannot be given throughout our day without our acknowledgment of God's hand consistently being in our lives. Prayer is a time where we regroup. We realize that we have been preoccupied and not fully aware of God throughout our day. After acknowledging this we slow down and refocus and allow ourselves to be awed at the realization that God at that moment is kneeling with our humility before Him. Then we can give thanks and pursue a life of continual thanks.

Others: It is sad for me to think of how many meals I have eaten alone. It's even sadder to think that I sometimes eat meals alone by choice instead of joining others. Just as this is a time to regroup in thanks and appreciation to God and awareness of his presence, it's also a time to look at what matters in life. It's time to join with friends, enemies, or the other to bond; to share over a meal. It's a time of openness with nothing else pressing on us to get done, it is a sacred time. It's a time to show love and caring for others where there is no work to be done, so it's sincere. You can enter into another's life for that time and then carry that conversation with you for the rest of the day, keeping in your heart the joys and the woes of another. It's connectedness, and I believe God called that good and he would kneel with us in that.

Creation: A meal is unique in that we ingest food. We ingest creation, and it sustains us. We rely upon what God has created and given us authority over. We were made to be the Earth's caretakers, but we often get preoccupied with being society's caretakers. Sitting down to take creation, hold it in our hands and then join it to ourselves is a heavy illustration of how we need to be connected with the Earth. You take that plant full of nutrients from the ground; you take that meat that was once an animal with life who fed on plants, drank water from a stream, grew healthy in the warmth of the sun, and enjoyed the landscape God provided for it. You connect with these things if you allow yourself, and you realize something greater; something that ties together complexity, harmony, and love. And man coming in contact with his calling at every meal is something that I believe would bring God to recline at the table with him.

As I said there are questions that come and must be asked through the eyes of blessing.

Am I living blessing in this meal? Is anything about this meal keeping God away from it?

Am I not trusting God? Have I been too busy to revere his majesty during my day? Have I thought the world was all about me at times, and not kept God at the center of all? Do I show thanks for what I have by sharing it with others, so that they may have some of God's provision also? Am I able to accept from others and see it as from God? Am I aware that He is here, and that this ground is holy ground?

Am I ok with everyone around me? Am I interested in what they have to say or am I just waiting for my next chance to talk? Am I annoyed with them? Do I despise them? Is there anyone I really hope would not sit with me at the meal? Is there anyone who if they sat next to me, I would be conflicted by knowing I have not done my best to respect them. If the 11 year old sweat shop worker for the manufacturer where I get most of my clothes sat by me for lunch, what would I say? Do I have wrongs to right with people I know or don't know? Do I even care about these wrongs? What steps can I take to make this a blessed meal for all to join with me and not just some. What steps can I take to allow God ,Himself, to join this meal with me?

Am I aware of where my food came from? Do I understand the process that got it here? Have I ever been connected with the soil? Have I ever marveled at a seed and respected it's ambition to spring forth abundant life from nearly nothing? Do I care about the quality of the plants? Do I care about artificial substances that weaken the plants and steal their honor to make my life more practical and easy? Do I appreciate vegetation the way I should by making sure species do not go extinct? Am I aiding in the pollution that is poisoning creation? Do I know where my eggs came from? Do I know the practices and treatment of the birds from which the eggs come? Is it respectful to the animal or is it the equivalent of a Nazi concentration camp for animals? How are the animals I ingest cared for? Are they really cared for, or are they given meaningless lives where they will not experience creation, only a man made cage, and then be slaughtered at the earliest age possible? Am I contributing to this by my food choices? Is God here with me in these decision? Is he here with me in my selfish, apathetic ignorance to creation?

These are things I am starting to realize I need to ask. Blessing isn't whatever I want it to be or whatever is easiest for me... it's what is right. Justice and righteousness are the same word in Hebrew. The word conveys a right way of living that moves out and makes the world right. Blessing isn't just contingent on me being a nice person and acknowledging that God is good for giving me this food, its judgment is that I must make sure everything surrounding this meal is as right and sacred as possible. The more sacred and righteous it is the more apt God is to kneel with me at the meal and bless what the meal is and what it's doing in me and in the world.

Bless this meal.

Amen.