The Facebookidek Priesthood

I don't know if any of you have heard anything about this yet... but supposedly the Mormons are putting in a bid to buy Facebook. With some 30 billion dollars in the bank, it looks like they can afford it too.

So what changes can we expect in Facebook if this really does happen. First of all, in the religion category you will only have two options... Mormon or Future Mormon. All picture containing drinking of alcohol will have a computer-generated Coca-Cola logo superimposed on the bottle/can/keg (advertising... how else do you think they get all that money?). The New Feed will stream any newly acquired information about your ancestry. There will be slots to include more than one wife/girlfriend in your relationship status. Once you sign up you will automatically be added to the "You Know You're Mormon If..." Facebook group. There will be a newly added "Knock-knock" option. Here Mormon missionaries can solicit your Facebook as well. The only thing is, there is no ignore option for this feature. And obviously, this will be the default picture on anyone's account who hasn't upload their own pic.

What about the name Facebook? Will that change? "Facebook of Latter Day Saints." The "Face book of Mormon." Maybe, "Face It Joseph Smith Was A Prophet Book." Or perhaps, "That Social Networking Site That Used To Be Awesome."

My long time readers will know that I've spent some time with the Mormons, getting to know them and their beliefs. I like them. This was some joking, I didn't really mean to be too disrespectful; however, with $30 Billion, why not do something good, instead of just building churches and sending people to my door. It would take an estimated $60 Billion to cut world hunger in half... as I see it, the Mormons should have us half way there.

I know they send young missionaries all over the world, to both wealthy and impoverished countries, but why does it always seem that growing religious groups are so concerned with PR in the ways that don't matter, like Facebook. Get good PR with the sick and dying rather than the teenage computer user. Maybe I'll call the new set of Mormon missionaries in my area so I can throw some hard questions at them, and give them a little perspective.

I got this news from 9to5mac.com of all places.