When You Take The Time

I was walking down Carson Street in the South Side looking for the place I was supposed to meet my friend. Her initial directions were close, but not spot on. I walk with a confused look on my face, scanning and rescanning the names displayed on each establishment. I ask some people if they know where it is, and they point me down the street further. As I walk, I'm trying not to be in too much of a rush. A man sitting on the curb asks if I would give money to a veteran. Usually I am pretty open to such a request for charity; but I hesitated. I didn't know if I was going to. He looked to be in good, healthy condition, and he wasn't too old either. Why does he need my money? The call to "give to anyone who asks of you" stirred my heart and I pulled a $5 bill out of my wallet.

His name was Raymond. I asked where the man had served. He had been on active duty for several years, and spent a good amount of time in Germany. As I asked this I found a seat next to him on the curb. He told me about the problems with the military, where once you come back there is no longer a job for you. This is an circumstance he found himself in years back. He went on to tell me some things that he stands for, like living together with people, not differentiating between skin color, and being an example of how African Americans and all people should act. He likes peace, which is why he spends time just sitting in South Side, avoiding the business of downtown, where he lives.

As our conversation continued he told me his "girl" recently passed away. When he continued to speak of her, and his eyes became glassy and watery, it was apparent how much she meant to him. He told me of all the things they planned to do, but never did, like visit the zoo and aviary. He also reminisced of the times they would walk together in the park, and she would teach him how to use the buses in this city, being that he's a Southern boy.

One of the top priorities on his mind was to do something as a memorial to her. He wanted to give back to a city and an area he had appreciation for. Creatively and innocently enough, he told me he wanted to get a few thousand dollars so he could rent an ice cream stand for two days and give free ice cream to children in the South Side. He perked up at the thought of that. It was encouraging to see this middle aged, African American, who detested stealing, lying, and substance abuse. His father died from alcoholism, and his mother currently was an alcoholic and addicted to cigarettes. He encouraged me not to drink, as he doesn't.

Raymond would readily admit that he was having a hard time since the passing of his girlfriend, and had also had some bad luck; having gone to prison for a month by a case of mistaken identity (according to him), and for some reason I actually believe him. He grew one little clump of hair on his otherwise shaved head. This was to distinguish himself, so he would not be mistaken for any other criminals. Even through all these things he spoke of God being there. He knew that there was hope in God. The man had a good story and a hope for the future.

I felt a tugging on my heart to pray for him. I have trouble with this, and usually don't go through with it, whether stranger or friend. But this time I did. On a public street, sitting on a little brick step, I put my hand on his shoulder and prayed for him. I gave him my card so that I could continue to help him in whatever he needed, and to allow us to continue our new friendship.

And I wasn't the first. Others had come to know this man and help him. This coming weekend, someone he made friends with was driving to Richmond, and taking Raymond with him, so Ray could visit his family in Richmond. I could tell he was excited and felt blessed to have such an opportunity, in a city where he is very much on his own now. It all comes together with everyone doing a little or big part for those going through a rough spot or a rough life.

I'm glad I sat. I'm glad I started conversation and progressed it beyond the initial shallow niceties. This isn't about me doing something nice. This is about all of us realizing that there are people in need all around us, and we need to learn to sacrifice our schedules and our wants a little bit in order to make a new friend and show God's love. I have no regrets about what happened tonight.

Married To God Or Married To A Hottie?

I've been thinking about myself in lines with dating/marriage stuff. The truth is, I don't really know what I think about it. Truth be told (and anyone reading this probably already knows) I am not so great with the ladies. Regardless of this, or maybe partially because of this, I don't even know if that's the lifestyle I'm being called to.

I want to follow the call of God with my all, and sometimes I wonder if a wife would hinder that. At the same time I also wonder if a wife would help that, or if I'd go crazy being single for the rest of my life.

I look at the words Jesus said in Matthew 19. It's like Jesus is saying that there is hope even without a significant other. Some have this thrust upon them because how they were born or what others have done to them, but then there are those who willingly give it up for a higher cause.

But then again Paul says that it's better to marry than to burn with passion. Now what he's referencing here might be sexual or just that desire that Adam had for a counterpart. Either way the idea seems to be that if you can't control whatever this urge is, it can be distracting and unhealthy. God has called the union between man and woman good, so if it's called good and you want it, might as well go for it. Paul says it's good to stay unmarried, like him, but that it's fine if you can't do that. Perhaps it can be much wiser for the sake of the ministry to not marry if possible.

I guess in either verse it's not a straight forward thing, it's a one or the other. Neither are wrong, but maybe one is more right than the other on a person to person basis.

To me there are certainly attractive aspects to a life in humble service to God, by being free to do whatever he can imagine for me; as well as a life in humble service to God via my bodaciously hott/fun/caring wife.

If anyone has more insight on what these scriptures are saying historically/culturally, if you have more scriptures that should be looked at, or if you just have life experience or thoughts to share, all are welcome.

This is a very open post that requires your interaction.